Dear Chicago,
It’s not you, it’s me. Wait, no. It IS you. I will always love you but it’s better for both of us if we move on and see other cities. And so, last Thursday I was off to my future home, Charlotte, North Carolina. No, not Charleston, CHARLOTTE. And yes, I am serious about moving. Allstate is relocating me and later this summer I’ll be joining my boss and another co-worker who will already be down there.
Andrea flew in from Denver to verify not only was this a place I could live, but it was a place she could visit. Her flight landed about 90 minutes after mine – plenty of time to get my luggage and find a bar serving local brews right outside baggage claim, which was nice as most airports don’t have any food or beverage once you leave security. It was a short taxi ride to Hyatt Place in Uptown (which is what they call their downtown, which is also the name of my current neighborhood, which is going to confuse me for quite a while.)
After settling in we took the elevator up to the 21st floor to Fahrenheit, which served food and had a rooftop. Unfortunately, it was the one night it was a bit too cold and windy to eat outside. They had an eclectic menu and crowd. Judging by some of the ‘dates’ that weren’t starting until after 10p with women dressed over the top or, more correctly, barely dressed, I believe there is a healthy escort industry in Charlotte. One woman’s dress slit went so high we’re pretty sure the reason we couldn’t see her underwear is because she wasn’t wearing any. And she must be a fan of the Brazilian. Not. Kidding. 🙈
Friday morning after breakfast at the RedEye Diner in the nearby Epicentre, we walked over to where both my temporary and permanent offices – obviously still under construction – will be located (about five blocks apart.)
We also encountered our own Bermuda Triangle for the first of several times. No matter which route we chose to navigate, it was always the wrong one and we always had to wait forever for the walk signal. Always. Then we explored the surrounding area and found a few microbreweries but chose the Seoul Food Meat Company with outdoor seating available for lunch and learned Charlotte had its own gold rush – it wasn’t all about California after all (but don’t tell the Californians, you know how they are.)
Our weather was basically 70 and sunny every day (fine if you like that kind of thing) except Sunday, which clouded up later in the day but we were leaving anyway so it didn’t matter. My real estate agent (Jenny) picked us up Friday afternoon and did just as I had asked her – drove us around Charlotte to various neighborhoods I had suggested or she thought I’d like and showed us places that may or may not be in my price range, but gave me a feel for what was out there. This also served as a warning to me that their drivers are going to drive me bonkers (more so) as will my driving will for them but since they don’t use their horns I won’t know it. Jenny also drove us around the Charlotte area in general and then dropped us off by the 7th Street Market for out tour of the city on the Funny Bus (Andrea surprised me with this – can’t figure out why she thought I’d like it. 😏
We were two minutes late and everyone was waiting for us. Of course, they saved us seats right in front by the comedian who was giving the tour. Fortunately, she didn’t heckle us nearly as much as we thought she might. About midway through the tour we stopped at an area with several bars for a bathroom break and refreshment reload. You couldn’t carry an open container ON to the bus, but once on it, you could open it and drink. She got funnier after that. Luckily, we were not playing the suggested “Church!” game which required one to take a drink every time we passed a church. We would have been wasted within a mile, especially after other passengers started naming just about everything they saw, including a dog, “Church!”
Dinner was at a wonderful seafood restaurant mysteriously named Sea Level. When the couple sitting next to us, who had been eyeing our dinner, found out I was moving to Charlotte they couldn’t say enough good things about it, having moved to the area from Ohio 20 years prior. Andrea and I had noticed the downtown was thriving and there was a ton of new construction going on both there and in the nearby neighborhoods. It really is a clean, friendly city but I’m going to move there any way.
Fun fact: Charlotte natives are called Charlotteens and not Charlatans as I had hoped. And we only met two. Everyone else was a transplant. But don’t think I won’t still pick up a drawl, y’all. Okay, if I say “y’all,” you can smack me.
Afterwards we went to the top-rated Merchant and Trade rooftop to enjoy the view and people watch for a bit. From there we walked to the Punch Room, an unassuming bar located in the Ritz Carlton. It was reminiscent of a speak-easy, allowing only as many people as there were seats available, which were lounge style and they did little advertising; we only knew about it because Jenny recommended it. The Mixologist is evidently somewhat famous among mixologists and the bar was basically built around him. They gave us some kind of punch when we arrived and then I ordered the “I Know Bob” which is pretty much whatever Bob the Bartender wants to make for you although I asked it be bourbon based. He added Cynar (a surprisingly delicious artichoke based liquor that is evidently all the rage among foodie-types.) I don’t remember what else was in it (NOT because of the alcohol content) but it was pretty good. Andrea ordered a Boulvevadier because she’s fancy like that (not.) 
Saturday morning, we walked over to the area near my future offices to pick up a rental car after re-navigating the Triangle. Andrea graciously did all the driving so I could look out the window and suggest areas to explore – basically I got to tell her where to go – a definite role reversal for us. 😁 I wish we had tracked how many miles we drove although Charlotte, while 850K in population, isn’t that big. It’s on the South Carolina border which is only 11 miles from downtown. We drove past a nice condo in a neighborhood I like (Dilworth) that Andrea’s husband, Cory, had found for me online but it was only one bedroom. However, the age and style of the building were similar to mine and definitely a nice neighborhood – score 1 for Cory.
For lunch, we stopped at a Peruvian chain called Pio Pio. Siri incorrectly pronounced it pie-o pie-o. We decided it was more fun to call it pew-pew and make shooting motions. (You just did it in your head, didn’t you?) The food and service were both quite good and they had pulled off a wonderful Latin vibe without going for the cheese. We also stopped at the Paper Skyscraper. If you’re on my gift list, you now know where upcoming presents will be coming from. Which, I think, will be a nice change from the usual dumpster diving I do.
In the NoDa neighborhood, we discovered Bartique. Andrea was going to walk right by it but the name intrigued me too much so I inquired what they were. Turns out they are, according to them, the first ever women’s bar/clothing boutique. Besides some really cute clothes, they had a full bar and PBR was on special. It’s just a hunch but I won’t be too surprised if my Uncle Merlin suddenly discovers an interest in women’s fashion… 
(No, this is not Bartique, it just cracked me up)
After returning the car later that afternoon, we chilled until walking to Fin and Fino, a new restaurant that had just opened a few days prior (I don’t know how Andrea finds these places.) The food was good but our waitress was a bit of a mess. She forgot to bring us our complimentary sherry when we arrived and after apologizing for forgetting a couple more times, finally remembered at the end of the meal. It took her a good five minutes to explain the menu to us, after which Andrea commented to me if it takes that long to explain, it might not be the best menu. We soon realized EVERY question we asked would take her five minutes to answer; partially because this was her first week of working after having a daughter five months ago. While said daughter had always slept through the night, now that mommy was working she was not so the waitress was very tired. I think we learned more about her than we needed to but she was very pleasant and we hoped she’d get some sleep soon.
We walked over to another area I’ve forgotten the name of and found The Cotton Room, a bar that had been gutted down to the bricks and wood beams, built 100+ years ago, with a bartender who clearly loved his craft cocktails. My first beverage was a drink that was fundamentally a Sidecar with jalapeno liquor but somehow it worked. For my next I asked for a bourbon based cocktail with Cynar and he got very excited. He added cognac and sweet vermouth. Don’t ask me how but it was quite tasty. Andrea enjoyed Smoke and Mirrors and they actually trapped smoke in the glass. Again, fancy. 😉
Sunday, after brunch at Heist, a brewery a cousin had recommended in a renovated former textile plant in NoDa, we rode the light rail from one end to the other, getting off in Southend to get a feel for the neighborhood. And now I’m home where it’s 50 degrees and everything but the grass is still brown. Of course, that doesn’t stop people from walking around in their shirtsleeves like they’re in Charlotte. 
Thanks for reading.
P.S. No, I don’t know what’s going to happen to Lionel but he might be ready for a warmer climate too…
lisaland.me 