It appears I survived the Schulz family reunion. This is different than the Bofenkamp reunion as there’s little chance of the cops being involved. It’s in upper Wisconsin, about two hours northeast of Minneapolis. Michelle, Lindsay, Josh (3) and Lucas (3 months) headed out late Wednesday afternoon, roughly the same time as Mark and Jill (Joe had Guard and Jacob was watching the dogs.) Unfortunately the girls discovered a flat about 12 miles from Indiana while at a truck stop. Mark and Jill backtracked to see if they could help. There wasn’t much they could do but Jill managed to coerce/harass (it’s what she does) the truck stop mechanics into fixing the tire even though they are only supposed to work on trucks. It took several hours but everyone was finally back on the road. The girls still planned to drive straight through while the boys slept but just as M&J were pulling in to my place for the night the tire blew again on I-90 at about midnight. They limped in to an oasis and Illinois Roadside Assistance came and put the bubble on for them (*99 if you ever need them.) They then drove to a motel to spend the night before Lindsay bought a new tire the following morning and they were back on the road at about 10/10:30. I’m pretty sure there was some discussion about just giving up and going home. And that was probably Mark…
Mark, Jill and I left my place around the same time and met up with them at an Arby’s in Wisconsin. We all made it safely to the cabin Mom had rented through VRBO on Lower Clam Lake (which is NORTH of Clam Lake, uffda) around 5ish that afternoon so it basically took them 24 hours to get there. A bit overboard if you ask me but some people just like their drama. And my brother lost his wallet by leaving it on the top of his truck when filling up with gas at the Arby’s. Some nice people saw money blowing along the side of the road and stopped to pick it up when they saw the wallet, found him on Facebook and mailed it back. So basically our travel calamities ended well especially as he got both Dad and I to pay for gas at different times.
After we unloaded, some walked and some drove the 0.6 miles to Uncle Loren’s cabin on Clam Lake near Siren which would be home base for the duration. Several others had already arrived. I believe we had burgers and brats that night but I’d probably have to look at the spreadsheet to be sure. Ah yes, the spreadsheet. It was magnificent and terrifying at the same time. On it Loren had tracked when people were arriving, leaving, and which meals they would be present for. He had also recorded what each meal would be and which family was in charge of making it that day. We all provided Loren and Leiann our shopping list and they hit up Costco before we arrived. Loren then calculated per person what everyone would owe based on the total bill and number of meals eaten. It was color coded. It was amazing. And scary. I’m pretty sure he excelled in accounting at college. And didn’t have a ton of friends. 😉
The rest arrived on Friday bringing our total number to 37, traveling from Austin, Chicago, Michigan, Nebraska, Minneapolis, Tennessee and Kentucky. On land we had the use of two junior 4-wheelers and a neighbor’s side-by-side 4-wheeler. For the lake we had the pontoon boat, jet skis, a huge lily pad, and a giant floaty that holds about eight people and your drink. We probably went through 60-70 gallons of gas over the duration of the reunion. Speaking of gas, one family was in their camper when my cousin got up to use the porta-potty (aka bucket) in the middle of the night and subsequently farted. Which set off the carbon monoxide alarm located right by it. Her husband woke up startled, terribly concerned that something was on fire. Who says farts can’t be lethal?
And there was also ladder toss, corn-hole, and giant Husker Jenga lawn games. The kids mostly rode the juniors around the picnic/beach area but the side-by-side did find some trails and a few are fairly confident they saw either a still or a meth lab and heard banjo music. Of course they couldn’t remember where it was so they were afraid they’d accidentally wind up there again.
With all that to do, naturally some of the 8 and under set (apparently my target demographic) decided to follow me around instead. It was determined we’d play super heroes. Kiera (5) was Batman, Avery (5) was Batwoman, Lexi (3) was Batgirl and I was Wonder Woman (obviously.) At one point someone suggested adding “princess” to our names but that was quickly voted down (they made me so proud.) And I’m really not worried about the future of our young women because all of them were happy to be the leader. One asked me to lead and then promptly did what she wanted. I’m betting LoAnn put her up to it.
When 8-year old Rowan came to join us, I asked which super hero he was and without pause he said the Human Torch. I looked at his mop of fiery red hair and tried not to swallow my tongue. Of course you are, Rowan, of course you are. FYI, in case you were wondering, super heroes spend most of their time looking for clues and catching bad guys. We built what I thought was a rather impressive cage made out of sticks that could topple over in a gentle breeze. Of course I sent them off to gather the sticks thinking “that’ll kill five minutes” only to have them all return a minute later with their arms full. I guess I should have expected that in a heavily wooded area…
At one point we were discussing how much fun we (okay, mostly they) were having and something was mentioned about grown-ups. I stated that I was not a grown-up and Rowan promptly asked me if I had kids.
Me: No.
Rowan: So you’re not a mom?
Me: Nope.
Rowan: Oh, then you’re not a grown-up. Only people who are moms or dads are grown-ups.
Me: I agree completely Rowan and besides, I’m younger than your mother.
(Not technically true.)
Rowan: How old are you?
Me: 39.
Rowan: Oh yeah, you’re five years younger than my mom.
His mom was not very happy to hear how readily Rowan accepted I was younger. It still makes me smile.
On Saturday Loren had a group of folks out on the pontoon when one of the jet skis approached and Logan (5) asked to come aboard. Aunt Nancy then opted to ride back on the Jet Ski but she forgot her crutches and wasn’t using her prosthetic leg that day. The 50 yard walk from the dock to the cabin is a bit more arduous when it is going to be a 50 yard hop. So Tom graciously (and foolishly) hoisted Nancy over his shoulder, knocking his glasses askew. As he quipped: So a one legged lady and a blind man walk in to a bar… On returning from a pontoon boat ride at night where they hoped to see the Northern Lights, Nancy told Dave all about the boat ride she’d just been on. He’d been on the same one. I don’t care if it was dark out, it’s not that big of a boat.
Sunday was the family Olympics. Teams were picked with Uncle Merlin and dad/Gerald as the team captains and almost coming nose to nose except Gerald has a good 5 inches on Merlin. Various games were played but my favorite was the one where two people from each team put shower caps on and then the caps were covered in shaving cream. Cheese balls were thrown at their heads with the winners being the ones with the most cheese balls still on their head. Naturally my brother was one of the winners because, well, he has a big head.
The tradition of awarding the travelling trophy was continued. This year Batman and Batwoman were allowed to pick the recipient. Naturally Wonder Woman won hands down. It does function well as a cup holder.
Each evening was spent around the bonfire making s’mores and strawberries dipped in marshmallow fluff. Most stayed until they could no longer handle the mosquitos. Some of my cousins had to have at least 30 bites on them. I sat next to them so the mosquitos would just hang out there and leave me alone. It worked. I did not get bit once. Some have said my personality is repellant and evidently it works on mosquitos too.
All in all it was a good time with good food and good weather. And I think everybody is still speaking to each other. I think.
lisaland.me 